People-pleasing is more than just being kind or considerate — it’s a pattern of putting others’ needs ahead of your own so often that it leaves you feeling drained, resentful, or disconnected from yourself.
For many, this pattern starts early in life. As children, we may learn that keeping others happy helps us feel safe, accepted, or loved. Over time, this coping strategy can become automatic — saying “yes” before we think, avoiding conflict at all costs, and apologising for having needs or boundaries.
While people-pleasing can create short-term benefits, it often comes at a high cost:
Loss of self — not knowing what you truly want or need
Emotional exhaustion — feeling responsible for everyone’s feelings
Unbalanced relationships — connection that feels one-sided or conditional; resentment and unmet needs
Therapy can help you:
Recognise when you’re acting from fear rather than choice
Build confidence in expressing your needs
Set boundaries without excessive guilt
Create relationships rooted in mutual respect and authenticity
Letting go of people-pleasing doesn’t mean becoming selfish — it means relating to others from a place of honesty and self-respect, so your “yes” actually means yes.
If you’d like to learn more about how therapy can help you, contact me today to explore options, tailored to your needs.
