The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Understanding how trauma is held in the body

Many people come to therapy with a sense that their reactions feel bigger than the situation in front of them, or that they struggle to feel safe, calm or connected even when they want to. This can be confusing, particularly when there is an understanding of what has happened in the past, but the body still responds as if the threat is present.

In The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk explores how trauma is not only stored as memory, but is also held within the body and nervous system, shaping how we experience ourselves, others and the world around us.

Why the body continues to respond

The book explains that when we experience overwhelming events, the brain and body adapt in order to survive. This can affect how we process emotions, how we relate to others, and how we respond to stress.

For some people, this might show up as anxiety, hypervigilance or feeling constantly on edge, while for others it may present as numbness, disconnection or difficulty accessing emotions.

From a therapeutic perspective, this helps explain why talking alone does not always lead to change, as the body may still be holding patterns that developed in response to earlier experiences.

Reconnecting with the body

A key theme in the book is that healing often involves gently reconnecting with the body, rather than avoiding it. This can include developing awareness of physical sensations, noticing patterns of tension or holding, and learning ways to support regulation through breath, movement or grounding. The emphasis is on building a sense of safety gradually, rather than pushing too quickly into overwhelming material. Over time, this can support the nervous system in becoming more flexible, allowing for greater ease in moving between states of activation and rest.

A therapeutic approach

In therapy, this kind of work often involves integrating both psychological and physiological awareness. This might include exploring thoughts and emotions alongside noticing what is happening in the body, and recognising how these experiences are connected. The pace is important, as working too quickly can feel destabilising, while a slower, more attuned approach can support a stronger sense of safety. This can be particularly helpful for people who feel stuck or who have found that more cognitive approaches have not fully addressed their experience.

You are responding, not failing

One of the important messages within this work is that these responses are not signs of weakness or failure. They are adaptive responses that developed in order to cope with difficult or overwhelming experiences. When understood in this way, it can become easier to approach these patterns with more compassion and curiosity, rather than frustration or self-criticism.

Final reflections

The Body Keeps the Score offers a comprehensive way of understanding trauma that brings together the mind and body, highlighting the importance of working with both in the healing process. For many people, this perspective can help make sense of experiences that have previously felt confusing or difficult to shift.

If this resonates, therapy can offer a space to explore these patterns in a way that feels safe, steady and supportive, with the aim of building greater regulation, connection and choice over time. Get in touch today to see how I can support you.